twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck:

therealeovaldez:

bogleech:

shhhh

tiny cars are dreaming

This is beautiful

Transformers: Nap Time

(Source: humorstop)

freshsprince:

i love that book the fault in our wallflowers

(Source: privilegedblackteen)


(Source: primateculture)

(Source: zooeyclairedeschanel)

fasterfood:

i dont care what you say there is nothing more stressful than wanting to have a conversation with someone but having absolutely NOTHING to say

thefuuuucomics:

New life motto

(Source: channelyouth)

mothwizard:

me: i want something very short and small and cutesy but most importantly body safe and discreet

sex toy companies: try the DEVASTATOR SEVENTY THREE INCHES OF PURE JELLY RUBBER HYPER REALISTIC VEINS WE SHOWED IT TO A NUN ONCE AND SHE BURST INTO FLAMES THERE’S ONLY ONE SETTING: DEVASTATION THE VIBRATIONS CAUSED AN EARTHQUAKE MILLIONS ARE DEAD

theimpolitecanadian:

when you drink the water and the tummy go sploosh sploosh

zeklos:

foreverdepressedteen:

allhailtheboyking:

IM GOING TO SCREAM IM IN CLASS AND THESE GIRLS WHO BULLIED ME IN 5TH GRADE ARE WHISPERING AND THEYRE LIKE

"holy shit did she go to our elementary school"

"i dont know if thats her"

"i rly dont think thats her guys"

AND THE TEACHER CALLED MY NAME AND THEY GO

"holy shit shes hot"

THIS

IS

THE

FUCKING

L I F E

YOU FUCKING GO IM PROUD OF YOU

OWN IT FOR ALL OF US

(Source: solarcrashx)


unsexual:

is it wrong to be in love with an electric car


hhantu:

franfrancatman:

My dad and I made this fishtank for my mum for Christmas a few years ago with dollhouse furniture. I thought it was pretty rad

i cant believe your mom is a fish


happyhagfish:

meth: not even once

(Source: mad-decent-taco)

elegancea:

If someone calls you ‘ugly’ have a good comeback and say ‘excuse me, I am not a mirror’. 

jackwhitevevo:

once i was babysitting my neighbor’s 6 year old and she asked me why i was so ugly and without thinking i said “i’m you from the future” and she cried for like 30 minutes

(Source: fullmetaljackit)

hellotailor:

cybercitrus:

pixelavender:

adriofthedead:

vicemag:

A quick tip for your elevator ride up to the office: grab a piping hot cuppa joe at the corner store and stick an egg in it to make a hard boiled morning snack.

just stick your hands in boiling hot coffee. go on. do it. just shove your fingers on in that blistering hot cuppa joe. throw an egg in there. who gives a shit. eat your god damn coffee eggs like the stupid slobbering idiot that you are

thIS WHOLE FUCKING ARTICLE

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convert your office into a horrible disaster

these are all normal and i do them all at the Office

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